It has been a busy week and today I am feeling tired. I am cranky and know we have another busy week ahead. I have sort of decided to take this week off from school. I think we all could use the break. We have been going strong for 8 weeks and a rest is needed. Plus we have things going on 3 of the 5 days this week so not having school will make it less stressful on all of us. We will hopefully all feel much better when we start back up again on Monday.
I am kinda doubting my abilities as a teacher this week. Those who know me will probably think I am crazy. I have a degree in elementary education. I was a teacher before I had my kids. I taught third and first grades. I know how to teach, but I feel like I am not doing a good job with Sugar Plum.
Saturday during Sugar Plum's birthday party I walked into the living room at my in-laws house and noticed her on the couch with my mother-in-law and my nephew, he was reading to them. My nephew, M, is 5 and is in kindergarten at a local Christian school where his mom is a teacher. I was happy to see him reading and sat to listen to him for a minute. It made me feel good and then bad. I have babysat M since he was 3 months old while his mom worked. I started watching him 6 weeks before Sugar Plum was born. The two have grown up together at our house. He did two years of preschool with us before starting school this fall. I felt some pride in seeing him read. I had a little part in his learning as his preschool teacher. I then started to question myself about why Sugar Plum is not yet reading. Am I good enough? Here M started school the same time and is reading already.
I know Sugar Plum was young to start kindergarten. She just turned 5 last week. Both my husband and I felt she was ready. There was not much else she really needed to learn before kindergarten. I know it can take a while for kids to click with reading. I know it is not my fault she is not reading kids all learn to read at their own pace, but it still made me feel like I was doing something wrong.
There is someone who has commented to me that we can always do kindergarten again if Sugar Plum needs to. Honestly, I have been hurt by that and it makes me think they don't see me as being able to teach her. For the first time though I have had the thought cross my mind. Will she be successful this year? Will we need to repeat K? Did we make a mistake in starting her too early? I know it is only the end of October and we have a long school year ahead of us. I guess I am just feeling down about it right now.